December 17th

Dec 17th-  As each day passes I'm constantly looking for strength. To wake up, to shower, to get dress, to plan out my day and some days seem easier than others. Then something reminds me of David whether it's passing a car that looks like his, hearing a song on the radio that he loved to jam to, or even just the random memories that pops into my head. It helps bring me strength sometimes tear!  Today Emily and I got a package in the mail from amazing, encouraging women who all shared how our story impacted their lives. As tears ran down our faces, and I mean many, it got me thinking wow David's bravery touched more lives than I'll ever know or understand. Our story has help so many. I don't want the inspiring feeling that you felt fade away. I read where women had become better wives, better children of God, relationship had rekindled and so on. Amazing! Amazing! Amazing! So amazing! I want to encourage you to keep remembering the love and the fight that we went through. It was truly a roller coaster but each moment we shared it together with love, laughter, and strength. I would do anything to have David back but I can't. I can honestly say I don't regret any moments. I made sure to tell him how much I loved him as often as I could. I kissed him and cuddled with him often! I can't do that now but I want to encourage you to do that to your loved ones. David and I never had kids so our time wasn't spend doing mommy daddy duties. I know that takes up a lot of your time but find that time to spend with your spouse. Find the time to encourage each other, love each other, pray together, write each other love letters etc. You get the point. Please keep encouraging Emily and I and they rest of our families. We may not always respond but it brings smiles to our faces.

Dec. 9th

December 9th: It's been one month!  I can't believe it's been one month. It has gone by fast and slow, all at the same time. I am constantly learning and trying to keep my eyes open for this strange path that God has me on. I was in the shower this morning and You Make Me Brave by Amanda Cook & Bethel Music came on Pandora, and it got me thinking about the first time I heard this song. It was during our first trip to Houston. Emily, my sweet sister-in-law, convinced me to leave and go to a friends house to take a long bath and relax. I was having so much trouble understanding what and why this was happening, but trying to stay positive. I thought David couldn't be without me for a second, so it was hard letting someone else stay with him, but I left. I remembering soaking in the tube, reading my Bible app, searching for the right answers and ways to stay calm and be strong. I finally felt better, and started to enjoy my short visit with my new friends. I stayed for a couple of hours, but couldn't take it any longer. As I headed back to the hospital, this song came on the radio, You Make Me Brave.  As I listened to the words, I was finally feeling the peace I was needing. He was making David brave. He was giving him the strength and the courage to fight with such grace and positive attitude.  I started paying attention half-way through and heard these words first:

You make me brave

You make me brave

No fear can hinder now 

The love that made a way

My thoughts: Oh, God you are here!  You are making David and I brave! This is not a normal situation and you've given it to us for a reason. I kept listening. 

You make me brave

You make me brave

You called me out beyond the shore

Into the waves

More thoughts: You called us out. Why us?  We are just average people who want to just be married and have children and live this normal life, but I knew there's nothing normal about my husband, nothing at all. So I want to be brave, too. I can do this with him. The song kept going. 

You make me brave

You make me brave

No fear can hinder now 

The promises You've made

As Your love

In wave after wave

Crashes over me, crashes over me

For You are for us 

You are not against us

Champion of Heaven

You've made a way 

For all to enter in

I got back to the hospital and shared this with David. The Champion of Heaven was on our side. We knew then that trusting God was the only way!  So now I have to do the same. We all have to do the same. I wear my prayers for Waldron bracelet everyday. Not only as a reminder of David and our journey, but a reminder to pray for those impacted by David and our journey. We all have a little David Waldron in us. Whether from knowing him or following us. He taught all of us to be brave. God used him to show us how to be brave. Days are hard, but his love and devotions to all of us "Waldron's" is encouragement that we will all be okay one day. Cheers to you David Waldron!  Let's all try to Be Dave Brave!  

December 3rd- Where now?

December 3rd: Well, it's been a few weeks since my last post. I've been asked a few times, "Are you going to write again?"  And, to be honest, I assumed no. What will I write about?  Dave's not here, so where would I start. A friend today encouraged me to, so I figured I would give it a try. First, I want to thank everyone for your messages, donations, prayers, inspirations, calls, flowers, dinners, etc. I may not have always responded, but know it's much appreciated. Sometimes it's hard to respond. The feelings that you get after losing someone is such a roller coaster. Death isn't unfamiliar to me, but that doesn't make things easier. One moment I'm laughing, then the tears come, next I'm ready to face anyone and everyone, and then I want to stay hidden. I'm not mad at God, because I know that He used David to teach us so much. After reading many messages, I realize He was using him in so many ways!  Dave's journey saved people's lives, marriages, and encouraged them to fight for love and to trust that God would take care of them. Our prayers during that time were to use us to save others and to heal David, and both happened. I feel so grateful that He chose me to be David's wife. It stinks that he's gone, and it stinks that now I feel lost for my place here, but the two years that we dated, the ten months of engagement, and the eight months of marriage were the best times of my life. Every minute was worth it, and I think that's what God wants us to live for. Taking every moment and enjoying it. I want to keep Dave's memory alive. I feel like he fought so hard for us, and now we need to fight like him. His life was not a waste. He had to have cancer and  go through what he did so that others could see what trusting is. I promised David that I would continue to trust and continue to have strength. It's way easier to say these words than to live by them, but, day by day and moment by moment, I remind myself of the strength that David had. Even during the rough times, even when he couldn't take care of himself, he still showed strength and trust. My life might be a roller coaster, but I will continue to show strength and trust. I may fail from time to time, but I know that's okay. God is carrying me, so I know I won't fall. Please continue to pray for me and Emily and the rest of our family. We plan to keep David's memory alive!  He didn't fight so hard for nothing. His journey isn't over - now it's our turn to fight like him. #bedavebrave #prayersforwaldron