December 3rd- Where now?

December 3rd: Well, it's been a few weeks since my last post. I've been asked a few times, "Are you going to write again?"  And, to be honest, I assumed no. What will I write about?  Dave's not here, so where would I start. A friend today encouraged me to, so I figured I would give it a try. First, I want to thank everyone for your messages, donations, prayers, inspirations, calls, flowers, dinners, etc. I may not have always responded, but know it's much appreciated. Sometimes it's hard to respond. The feelings that you get after losing someone is such a roller coaster. Death isn't unfamiliar to me, but that doesn't make things easier. One moment I'm laughing, then the tears come, next I'm ready to face anyone and everyone, and then I want to stay hidden. I'm not mad at God, because I know that He used David to teach us so much. After reading many messages, I realize He was using him in so many ways!  Dave's journey saved people's lives, marriages, and encouraged them to fight for love and to trust that God would take care of them. Our prayers during that time were to use us to save others and to heal David, and both happened. I feel so grateful that He chose me to be David's wife. It stinks that he's gone, and it stinks that now I feel lost for my place here, but the two years that we dated, the ten months of engagement, and the eight months of marriage were the best times of my life. Every minute was worth it, and I think that's what God wants us to live for. Taking every moment and enjoying it. I want to keep Dave's memory alive. I feel like he fought so hard for us, and now we need to fight like him. His life was not a waste. He had to have cancer and  go through what he did so that others could see what trusting is. I promised David that I would continue to trust and continue to have strength. It's way easier to say these words than to live by them, but, day by day and moment by moment, I remind myself of the strength that David had. Even during the rough times, even when he couldn't take care of himself, he still showed strength and trust. My life might be a roller coaster, but I will continue to show strength and trust. I may fail from time to time, but I know that's okay. God is carrying me, so I know I won't fall. Please continue to pray for me and Emily and the rest of our family. We plan to keep David's memory alive!  He didn't fight so hard for nothing. His journey isn't over - now it's our turn to fight like him. #bedavebrave #prayersforwaldron